New Inspiration

So my 101/1001 project ended and with it went my inspiration. I have not blogged in months, I’ve done stuff.  It’s been a busy time with spectacular highs and desperate lows but I haven’t felt able to blog about them.  Most of the people that read this blog are on my Facebook friend list or follow me on Twitter, or know me in other ways. They know what I have been up to.  So why bother blogging about it? 

So I didn’t.  I didn’t blog at all.  I wanted to a few times but after months it’s like when you don’t call a friend for a week or so, and then you want to be feel awkward that you left it so long. 

Then there was the stuff I wanted to blog about, some of it was very positive some of it not.  Some of it I wasn’t sure how I felt about it so didn’t know what to say. 

Then there was me,  I’ve been struggling a bit.  It’s taken all my strength just to keep going some days. There have been some pretty bloody awful battles to fight this year which have left me drained.  I’ve kept buggering on, kept cheerful for the boys, kept them entertained and done fun things but it’s not been easy. It’s been a real effort to do stuff sometimes. 

I’ve been lacking in energy possibly because I’ve been battling with the OCD tendencies that keep encroaching on my life.  I suspect it’s because so many aspects of my life are completely beyond my control and it made me feel completely powerless so I had to focus on what I could control.  

I’m sure no one wanted to read about how I had a meltdown because of an orange juice carton left in the bathroom.  Then again when I am more balanced I CAN blog about my meltdowns and see the funny side to them. I’ve always believed that laughing at things diminishes them but for the past few months I haven’t been able to. 

I can now.  So I’m ready to start blogging again I think.  I do need structure though, my ramblings may seem random but they do have method to their madness. 

The 101/1001  challenge helped me immensely it gave me focus and helped me concentrate on the positive, it’s tangible and measurable. It gave me something to fix on when I was feeling down.  Without it I felt adrift and unfocused even though I was doing things that were pretty amazing. 

So I’m back blogging and I will be writing new challenges – not for 1001 days and not 101 of them but for the next year.  Not because you want to read it, but because I need to do it.   

I hope that makes sense, if not, well it does to me and it’s my blog 🙂